Wow! Anytime that is the preface to your words, just know that you REALLY do mean to judge.
I didn't realize just how hypocritical that sounded until I watched Oprah tonight.
Her guest was Ted Haggard's wife, Gayle. You know. The former mega-church pastor that admitted to affairs with male prostitutes and meth-use. His wife stayed with him. She wrote a book and was on Oprah.
This is the introduction she got (I tried to write it down verbatim--sorry if it's not quite right):
O: I decided I would approach this interview with no judgment...
We come from two different cultures.
I am a woman who has always taken care of myself.
I have always been independent.
I've always made my own decisions.
So, it's UNIMAGINABLE to me to be in a situation where somebody is going to betray me and I would stay.
But I get, reading, that you did.
How you coming from where you come from were able to do it.
And that was my epiphany.
Really? That is with no judgment? I wonder what it would sound like if you judged?
Here is Gayle's response. (Which, by the way, displays the grace this woman has, that Oprah could only dream of!):
I'm glad that you had that.
I'm glad that you don't want to judge me.
(To which Oprah said, "I don't." HA!)
Because I think I would say:
I'm an independent woman.
I'm a strong woman.
And I take care of myself.
And these were my choices.
Further proof that Oprah suffers from a serious God-complex.
I am going to try harder to not use phrases such as, "I don't mean to judge" and "If I were you" and "Not that it's any of my business" or really any phrase that ends in a "but."
I guess Oprah isn't totally useless.