Sunday, August 8, 2010

Why webmd is my best friend...

I am one of those crazy people who, after reading a magazine article detailing the "disease of the month," am convinced I have it.

I can answer yes to the questions about Every.Single.Symptom.

And so, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac.

But, I always alleviate my worst fears by going to my trusty friend, webmd, and seeing that there is nothing to worry about.

The good news is that I never have any of the usual illnesses.  Nope, strep throat, sprained ankle, and sinusitis are not my body's ailments of choice.

The following are just a few of the diseases from which I have suffered over the years:

Numerous ear infections.  As a full on adult.  The kind where my ear drum has burst.  Several times.  No wonder I feel I am partially deaf.

Kidney stones.  Although it's been over a decade since my last bout (knock on wood!), the pain is HELL CRAZY!  And there is nothing that makes it feel bearable.  Most of the time I have been forced to drive during the pain.  To all those who say miracles have ceased, I say: I drove over 20 miles in the middle of unimaginable pain.  And no one got hurt.

Bursitis.  I don't know why.  I don't know how,  But I developed bursitis in my right shoulder just before turning 30.  I couldn't move my right arm.  Try dressing without the use of your dominant arm.  Needless to say, I tried to drink very little until the pain subsided.

A sprained wrist.  I know that it doesn't sound that strange.  But I sprained my wrist while riding an inner tube being pulled by a boat.  I hit a big wave and came crashing down into the water.  However, the pain didn't manifest itself for 3 days.  Poor Darrell was practically interrogated by the ER staff, to ensure he did not beat me. 

A bunionette.  No, it's not just a little bunion.  It's a bunion on the other side of your foot--with your little toe.  It hurts like crazy and I have to wear these crazy devices to help cushion my shoes.  I'm too young for the podiatrist!

I'm sure there are more, but I don't want to bore you with the crazy details.  Suffice it to say that years of watching shows like ER and Emergency! have helped me with self diagnosis. 

I don't know if that is a good thing.


Emily said...

What is bursitis?

And just be grateful you don't have to deal with Large Intestinitis or Right-Side Dysmorphia.

Ginger said...