Thursday, December 16, 2010

Items in mirror may be larger than they appear

The year Darrell and I got married, I decided it was time to purchase a beautiful and fully lighted artificial Christmas tree.  And since I was buying one, it needed to be fabulous.  One that would last for years.

So, I went to the Costco (one of my favorite stores) and found a beautiful 9-foot tree.  Our living room has vaulted ceilings, so it would fit perfectly. 

I picked out the perfect spot for it and was so excited to get it home and start decorating.

If I played it right, the whole house would look like a Christmas catalog before Darrell got home.

I paid for the tree and pushed the flat-bed cart to the parking lot.

The tree was in a box about 6-feet long, which was just going to have to stick out the back of the trunk the five mile trip home.

The only problem was this:

I owned a car that was too small to accommodate the box.

I tried every possible configuration to get that dumb box in the car.

I tried loading the box through the trunk, but it wouldn't fit--the box was too tall to fit in the trunk.

I tried loading the box through the front door, but I could only get it to go perpendicular--from the passenger side to the driver's side.  I wasn't going to be able to drive the car that way.

I turned that box every direction possible, but it was all to no avail.

I spent about 30 minutes trying to get that dang tree in the dang car.

It wasn't happening.

(I sincerely hope there weren't security cameras filming my attempts.  I guess if there were, I'd have seen the film on the youtube by now.)

(I like calling things "the" whatever....the youtube, the Costco, the email.  It goes back to my days in Missouri, I think.)

So, I took the stupid tree to the returns area.  The man working the desk asked what was wrong.

"The tree won't fit in my car.  I just bought it half an hour ago and can't get it in my car."

I told him that I'd be back with a larger vehicle and he could just give me a store credit.

I came back a couple of days later with one of Darrell's friend's SUV.

The Costco was completely out of Christmas trees.

We ended up with a bookcase.

It's a good thing we didn't get that 9-foot Christmas tree after all.  When I got home, I realized we would have had to climb over the couch everytime we needed to go into the kitchen.  My space perception is sometimes off. 

That's why, when we move, we will have to take the bookcase out the window. 

There's no way in hades we will be able to get it out of the room it's in.  You see...we assembled it in our home office and it can only go from the home office to the bathroom.  It's too big to take the corner to get out of either of those rooms.

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