Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth

I read a lot of blogs.  Of all the blogs I read, I know less than half of the people in real life.  And I think that is a problem.

I don't think I would actually like most of the people in real life.

But I am addicted to reading their blogs.

Is it just me, or do most people make you want to throw up?  At least just a little. 

Tonight, the thing that turned me off was a blogger who is a self-confessed tight-wad.  She has had window treatments in her living room that she does not like for the past three years because she hasn't found the "perfect" window treatments at Anthropologie.  But never fear...she broke down in a fit of desperation and bought a shower curtain at (does she dare say the word?) Target (I can only assume in her head it was Tarjay) and re-worked it to Anthro-it-up.

Gag!  Excuse me while I swallow.

First of all, I have only been to Anthropologie once, and it was more than enough.  I find the store to be pretentious and way over-priced.  And it pretends to sell "one-of-a-kind" items.  But if they have more than one of any item, how can it really be unique?  And if it is mass produced...well, just think about it.  Since EVERYBODY loves the place so much, don't you think you'll all start having houses that look identical?  It reminds me of Pottery Barn ten years ago.  And Phoebe on Friends and her hatred of the barn.

Everyone in blog-ville raves about Anthropologie's great prices--"Oh, I just bought the perfect shirt at Anthro!  And it was only $53!"  Or "Can you believe that I only paid $362 for this 8 x 10 (inch--not foot) mirror?"  Ack!  Come on!  I guess I am a true tight-wad since those prices will never be in my radar.

Their stuff is so ridiculous, I can barely keep the laughter from bursting out.

Here is a pared-down fixture crafted of warm copper; its timeless silhouette will earn a lush patina with age.

  • Professional hardwiring required
  • Copper
  • 60 watt max
  • 56" cord
  • 1.5"H, 5.25" diameter
  • Imported
Edison bulb sold separately

If I am going to spend $98 on what is really a lamp kit that can be purchased at Lowe's for $9.96, it better come with the light bulb.  But since it's Anthro and doesn't, the bulb will set you back (!) $18.  And don't ask me how much a professional hardwire job will set you back.

Next up is the Farmer's Egg Crate

Store a dozen fresh eggs in an eye-catching - and reusable - stoneware crate.
  • Stoneware
  • Dishwasher safe
  • 5.5"L, 7.5"W
  • Imported" 
Seriously?  We can't leave our eggs in the cardboard crate they come in at the store?  Oh, you mean to tell me this was created especially for the people out there that have their own laying chickens?  You mean to tell me no one before Anthro thought of something to put their eggs in?  Like a basket?

It's good to know that this next items was found in the "Extras" section, rather than the "Essentials."  It totally makes me feel better.  'Cause I think I almost blew a gasket when I saw it.

Yes, you are looking at PAPER straws.  A set of sippers from Jack & Lulu, crafted of chlorine-free, biodegradable and compostable paper. Oh, I'm sorry...they aren't straws, they are SIPPERS.  Straws are so last year!  The good news is they are imported (so none of our un-employed brothers and sisters had to work to support your frivolous lifestyle) and biodegradable.  Hopefully they wait to degrade until you are done using the sipper.  Drink fast my friend, drink fast.  But not too fast!  You get 20 sippers for $10--that's fifty cents a sipper.  You can get 100 straws (and a dispenser) for $4 at Target.  I know.  It's so ghetto, though!

And if you are in the mood for some clothing and accessories, the good news is that you can also Anthro those.  I just saw that you can buy a headband, with two raffia flowers (you know, straw--the kind that grows and cows eat?) for only $88.

I think my entire summer wardrobe cost me $88. 

I've had it. 

I truly can't wait for the Anthro-craze to be done. 

Almost as much as I want the Cafe Rio salad freak-out bloggers have to pass.


Ginger said...

Okay Stephanie, you are too much! I LOVED this post. I have heard of Anthropology but never been there, I didn't even know what they sold until I read your post. Those items & prices are absolutely ridiculous!!! It's kind of like when I went with Marc's Mom and Sister for his sister's birthday shopping spree last Christmas to Keirland Commons. I said "Oh, I guess this is where you go when you want to pretend that there is not a recession." I think you can apply it to anthro as well.

Emily said...

Hahaha! I hate Anthropologie too. Seriously Over-hyped. Occasionally I'll see something I like (I don't go to their site, but my neighbor likes the store and will actually get a good deal on something that's cute). But it's just garbage. Ugly, tacky, mis-matched garbage.

Aunt Spicy said...

I think we would be friends...fter reading this post, I am sure we would be friends (even if I did buy a super expensive bottle of Flora. At least I didnt buy it at Anthro :-)