Thursday, October 13, 2011

A cautionary tale

When Darrell decided he was going to propose almost 8 years ago, he didn't want to tip me off.

See, we had only been dating six and a half years and he didn't want to freak me out.

So he was sneaking around at the mall, ducking into jewelry stores.  He was absolutely paranoid that someone I knew would see him and tell me what they thought he was up to.

He decided on a ring and needed to figure out my ring size.  I had several rings that I would wear, some on my left ring finger, so one day while he was at my house, he ran into my bedroom while I was otherwise occupied, slipped one of my rings on his pinky finger, and memorized where it went on his finger.  He later went to the jewelry store and tried on the ring sizers to determine which size ring fit his pinky just the same and then bought the correct size.

Except, the ring he tried on was one of those cheap-o rings that fits has the self-adjusting springy thing on the inside of the ring.  So he bought a size 5.

So, when he proposed, and put the ring on my finger it was tight, but doable.

But as the day and night wore on, my finger started to swell and become a little painful.  No worries.  I just made sure to remove the ring each night and called it good.

So, flash forward about 7 years.  I've unfortunately gained some weight.  And although my fingers aren't overly fat, they are not even close to a size 5.  Probably a 7.5.

I stopped wearing the engagement/wedding ring combo earlier this year since it was pretty painful and would cause irritation.

I have felt badly about this, so I decided a few weeks ago to wear the ring out on the town.

I have this trick I use to get the ring on...I usually wash my hands with soap while pushing the ring past that last knuckle and it works like a charm.  I do the same, only in the reverse, to get the ring off.

I had to shove the ring a little harder this time, but figured it was okay.  A couple of minutes later, I decided it probably wasn't ok.  I could feel the pulse in my ring finger and it was a little uncomfortable.

I chose to remove the ring and resolved to lose a few pounds so the ring would fit more comfortably.

Only I couldn't get the ring off.  I tried all my tricks...soapy water, oils of all kinds, lotion, ice, elevated hand.


And I knew there was no way that ring was coming off.  I had a serious muffin-top between the ring and my knuckle, with nowhere for that extra stuff to go.  That ring wasn't going to slide off.

Darrell was out running errands and I was literally supposed to meet friends for dinner in 10 minutes.  I called Darrell and asked if he was done with his errands and if he could come home since my ring was stuck and we needed to run to urgent care to have the ring cut off.

He was quite concerned and I have vowed to always keep any emergency situation from him.  He drove like a mad man, as if my finger was falling off.  Once I re-assured him that I wasn't in pain, had all nerve sensations, and was just uncomfortable, all was ok.

We got to the local urgent care and asked if they could cut the ring off, which they couldn't.  We left and drove to the local hospital that promises a 5 minute wait to see a doctor in the ER.

The nurse at check-in was kind enough to try to have someone remove it without checking me in (and charging me for a visit), but was told she had to follow protocol.

Within 5 minutes, a doctor was examining my finger and asking me what jewelers do to re-size a ring.  Well, don't you think that since the ring was too small that I didn't know that?  He gave me a form that had the next steps outlined and told me to take a seat in the waiting room and another doctor would be able to cut the ring off in a few minutes.

(Do you like that they added a box for "Cut Ring Off?)

Well, about 15 minutes later, a doctor came into the waiting room with a tool like this.  Basically, guard went between the ring and my finger and the doctor turned a screw which cut the ring off.  And yes...he did this in the waiting room with an audience of people checking out the crazy lady who had to get a ring cut off her finger.

I then had to wait about 30 minutes to register with the insurance people.  Up to this point, I had only given my name, address, and weight to anyone.  Too bad I didn't know that earlier, because I would have given a different name, address, and weight and fled the scene after being freed.

I registered, paid my $100 co-pay and got home 2 hours after I put the silly ring on my finger.

That was the last weekend in September.  Today I got an email from the insurance company to show they received and paid the claim.

Any guesses on how much a trip to the ER for ring removal with no treatment for injury will cost?  $732.70.

Any guesses on how much the insurance paid?  $220.70.

It is estimated I have to pay an additional $55.18.

The moral to the story is this...just because you can get it on, doesn't mean you can get it off.  Or as I say when I see someone wearing clothing that is oh-so-unflattering...just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD!


Diana @ The Rader's Digest said...

Loved it! Was that a difference of 55 dollars? or 555.00? 700-220 = 400 something. For that much, Daryl could have afforded to buy you a good fit ring. ha ha. Only you would have a great story like this!

Anonymous said...

Just for future reference....Next time, Jared can cut off your ring in about 2 minutes for free. ;) I had a similar experience and he had to cut my ring off....He didn't even nip my finger one little bit. He's a pro. ;)